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Pre-school
Social skills are essential for young children, especially in a preschool setting where they learn to interact with peers and navigate the world around them. One of the most important social skills preschoolers need to develop is the ability to share. Sharing not only helps children build strong friendships but also lays the foundation for cooperation, empathy, and conflict resolution—key skills that will serve them throughout their lives. The science of sharing goes beyond just passing toys around—it involves emotional development, self-regulation, and a deep understanding of other people's perspectives.
THE DEVELOPMENTAL IMPORTANCE OF SHARING
Sharing is a milestone in preschool development because it requires a combination of social, emotional, and cognitive skills. Around the ages of 2 to 3, children begin to grasp the concept of sharing, but their understanding is still very basic. At this stage, they may share out of necessity or after being prompted, and it’s not unusual for them to struggle with taking turns or giving up toys voluntarily.
As children grow older and develop better emotional regulation, they start to understand the social benefits of sharing, such as making friends and being part of a group. By age 4 and beyond, preschoolers typically have a better grasp of why sharing is important and begin to initiate sharing on their own. This shift is tied to emotional development, where children start to recognize that others have feelings and needs, much like their own.
EMOTIONAL REGULATION AND SELF-CONTROL
Sharing requires emotional regulation, as children must learn to manage their impulses and understand that their desire for an object does not always need to be immediate. Developing patience and self-control is a crucial part of learning to share.
Preschoolers may not always understand why they can't have a toy right away, but as they practice waiting their turn and engaging in shared play, they begin to develop these key skills. Positive reinforcement for practicing patience or taking turns—such as praise or a small reward—can encourage children to continue refining their self-control.
THE ROLE OF EMPATHY IN SHARING
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, and it plays a critical role in sharing. For young children, learning to empathize with their peers means recognizing that others may also have desires and feelings about a particular object or activity.
Teachers and caregivers can encourage empathy by modeling sharing behaviors and guiding children in recognizing how others might feel when they are excluded or denied a turn. For example, if a child is reluctant to share, a teacher might say, "Imagine how your friend feels when they can't play with the truck. Wouldn't it be nice to let them have a turn?" Over time, children begin to internalize these ideas, helping them develop the emotional awareness needed to be more thoughtful and considerate in their interactions.
COOPERATIVE PLAY AND TURN-TAKING
Sharing is closely tied to cooperative play, which involves working with others toward a common goal, rather than playing alone or competing. In preschool, cooperative play often happens naturally during group activities like building with blocks, playing pretend games, or creating art projects together.
Through these shared activities, children learn how to cooperate, collaborate, and divide tasks. Turn-taking is a vital part of this process, as children have to learn that everyone deserves a chance to participate. Games like "Simon Says" or group activities like playing a board game can help preschoolers practice the concept of taking turns in a structured, fun way. The more opportunities children have for cooperative play, the more they develop their ability to share and work with others.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION: Handling Sharing Disagreements
Conflicts over sharing are inevitable in any preschool setting, and part of learning to share involves navigating these disputes in a constructive way. Instead of simply taking away a toy or scolding a child for not sharing, teachers can guide children through resolving the conflict on their own.
For instance, if two children are fighting over the same toy, a teacher might say, "I see you're both really excited to play with this toy. Can we take turns with it?" Teachers can also offer solutions like using a timer for turn-taking or helping children understand the concept of "ask before you take." This approach helps preschoolers develop the skills needed to manage conflict independently and build respect for others' needs.
THE BENEFITS OF SHARING FOR PRESCHOOLERS
When preschoolers learn to share, they not only develop stronger relationships with their peers, but they also gain a deeper understanding of the importance of community and cooperation. Sharing teaches children about generosity, kindness, and the satisfaction that comes from helping others feel included.
As children grow, these early lessons in sharing lay the groundwork for positive social interactions and emotional intelligence. Preschoolers who practice sharing and empathy are more likely to build lasting friendships, work well in group settings, and navigate social challenges with confidence.
STRATEGIES TO ENCOURAGE SHARING IN PRESCHOOL
SUMMARY
Sharing is an essential social skill that preschoolers need to develop in order to build strong, meaningful relationships with their peers. Through emotional regulation, empathy, and cooperative play, children learn to navigate the complexities of sharing and turn-taking. By encouraging sharing through modeling, praise, and structured opportunities for shared activities, caregivers can foster positive social interactions and create a supportive, inclusive environment where children feel valued and respected.